Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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