You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
