my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
