i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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