We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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