After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
