so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
ttyl tear gas
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
