He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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