she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
