I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
