yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
