Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
