can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
