dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
