I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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