I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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