Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
