is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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