i think my tv is drunk
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
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She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
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Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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