WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
