i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
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She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
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I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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