It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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