Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
he was CRYING into my vagina
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
