we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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