drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
