i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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