Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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