Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
