I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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