just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
