he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
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i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
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There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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