i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
