The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
