so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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