shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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