i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
