hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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