Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
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