Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
