Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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