brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
