you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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