ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
