yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
