Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
