Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
