I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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