it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize