honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
