found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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