OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
