Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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