yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
