i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
