people are starting to question the shark bite story
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
