I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
