Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
