Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
