i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
