thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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