Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
