ya dads aren't the best wingmen
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
