Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know her cup size but not her name....
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