I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
