ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was CRYING into my vagina
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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