so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
